January 26, 2004

Maoomancy

Posted at January 26, 2004 09:57 PM in .

At least one or two of my coworkers have no heard my opinion of the new be-all and end-all of divination methods: Maoomancy.

Maoomancy is similar to Bibliomancy where a question is asked and then the Christian Bible is opened to a random passage. This passage contains the universe's pointer to the answer to the question. Sort of a Christian Magic Eight Ball, it seems. There are variations with dictionaries but they aren't nearly as fun.

Maoomancy does the same thing but using a copy of Chairman Mao's Little Red Book as the source of Wisdom. Chairman Mao knows all, he's dead, and as a former dictator, is an open source (heh) of endless derision from certain people. In any case, since I actually own a copy of Mao's book (don't ask!), it works for me.

Today, at the War Team meeting for my team at work, I asked the discarnate spirit of Chairman Mao if we would ship our next item within schedule. He replied:

"At the present stage, the period of building socialism, the classes, strata and social groups which favour, support and work for the cause of socialist construction all come within the category of the people, while the social forces and groups which resist the socialist revolution and are hostile to or sabotage socialist construction are all enemies of the people."

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