I've finally given up on my diet. Fuck it, it's too much work. I've been meaning to start working out again for a while and R has recently started to do so at a local health club. I'm going to renew my membership to the Pro Club, which I can get for fairly cheap as a benefit through my work, and start trying to work out after work three or four times a week. We'll see how it goes. It won't be easy but I have to move my fat ass if I don't want to just want my body to decay over time. Maybe after I get into a little better shape and start lifting weights again, I'll feel like starting up my martial arts again. I miss doing it even though it has been eight years since my multi-year stint. I had done it for a couple of years in a Japanese style but stopped about the time that Chris became pregnant with Madeline. With all of the chaos of the following years and becoming rather out of shape with my geek lifestyle, I never restarted. I've realized that I can't really do it with being as out of shape as I am. I'm a fair size physically without my belly so I carry my weight well but I still weigh 215 or so pounds and I should be around 180 or less with my lack of muscles.
I've looked at various Japanese schools in the past few years but have found few excellent teachers, by reputation, outside of Aikido and I'm not interested in Aikido anymore. I did that for a couple of years in High School (before my last stint in martial arts) and, while I find it interesting, I don't really consider it much of a "martial" art. There is traditional Jiu-Jitsu locally as my old Sensei studied in a family style but it is all hidden away, non-public. Only the silly Brazilian clones are out (not to disparage the style in Brazil but it obviously became a buzz thing here). If I had a choice, I'd do Jiu-Jitsu or a similar throwing/joint art. A boxing related art wouldn't be bad either but I never did well at the kicking based arts. My hips are naturally pretty stiff and the living in a chair thing hasn't helped over the years. Even after a couple of years of regular practice before, I could never kick well, only acceptably.
If I was in better shape and had infinite time, I'd probably start fencing again too. It's been almost 15 years since I did it but I always enjoyed it.
In other spaces, I'm still working my way through Quicksilver. I'm not finding it especially slow going, I just haven't been dedicating a lot of time to reading this last week. This weekend is unlikely to be much different as it is Beltane. R and I are going to go to the tenth anniversary of some local celebrations and see some of our friends.
I've had a line from a poem that I wrote a while ago stuck in my head for a while. I don't even remember the whole poem though I remember the thoughts that led to it. "There is a flaw that runs through the heart of the World..." I find this thought reoccurring often but not for any particular reason. It's just there, a scar on the soul of Man.
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